Saturday, November 21, 2015

Spaces

I just want to say that I'm so happy that I could do this for you.
That I meant something to you. That I helped you see meaning to this life, meaning to yourself.
Everybody deserves to be loved and to love themselves and I happily love you.

But I am not yours.

I built you from scratch and I made you believe you are loved and that you are pretty and that you are fine as you are. It's all true.
Now you adore me and by adoring me you suffocate me.
I love being your friend. We have so much fun laughing at boys, sipping rose and having mini dance parties in my living room. I love talking shit to you, making up jokes and the occasional tears we share while talking about out deepest fears.
But you are not my only friend even though I am yours.
You can't claim me for every free weekend.
You have to let me go and find more people to add to your circle.

Since I moved away you tell me every weekend that you miss me so much and that the distance makes the feeling worse.
I don't miss you at all. I go out with friends, I work hard, I make up jokes and meet strangers.
You have to start living, stop being so scared of this world. It's gave you life, adore it, explore it, love it.

I don't know how to tell you this all. You see, I don't want to hurt you and I'm not sure how you will take this. I don't want to ruin our friendship but if you don't give me a little space I might end up hurting you. This has to change now.
I choose to be in your life, please don't make me choose to end it so soon.

I beg of you.

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